Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
