remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
