I'm jealous of your bromance
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
