Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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