is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
NoShamevember. You game?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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