There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
