Im at strip club and am horny
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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