It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Im just a social blackout drinker.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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