Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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