that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
