We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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