You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
