Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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