every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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