i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
