It's like God shit irony all over that family
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
