AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
