I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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