she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Plan B is the new Plan A
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
