My sheets look like a crime scene.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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