I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
