Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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