then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize