If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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