Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize