You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
