So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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