in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
