i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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