You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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