I cannot find my penis.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we're making bets on your personal life
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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