i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
not ubering you a puppy
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
