Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize