its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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