sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
