I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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