A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
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