it wasn't lemon gatorade
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
