she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
