i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
