Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
4 words: hood of his car
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
