just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
