The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
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