that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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