my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
