I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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