Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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