I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You may now shotgun with the bride
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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