You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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