She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
