i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just high enough for therapy.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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