I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
