I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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