So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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