The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
