I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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