State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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