I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
