I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
