Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
