Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
