I'm jealous of your bromance
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
