I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
this beer tastes like vomit already
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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